insomnia diary november 2

that was terrible.
i don't have classes on fridays so theoretically i could stay up and sleep in as long as i want, even though that's a dumb idea. I had good intentions, I swear I did, but well...
It didn't work.
The last time I saw the clock it was quarter after four. I didn't want to be awake, i just couldn't make myself go to bed. it wasn't helped by mother waking up in the middle of the night, but if i had been asleep already that wouldn't have mattered.
I must have been asleep by around five because I didn't notice my dad leaving for work.
woken up before eleven by mother singing. not fun. sat up when my alarm went off, but didn't manage to get out of bed until around 2. total failure at having a day.
No dreams, but right before I feel asleep I did realize what was missing from my story so I can write that now, which is good. silver lining. doesn't feel like much.
I might stay up all night on saturday or sunday to kick myself into having better sleep pattern, but I don't know if that's possible.
The other idea is to try one of the weird pattern things a friend of mine was talking about during the summer, sleeping less throughout the day, instead of all at night. that might be interesting? or at least, if this doesn't work, it would be an exciting new kind of disaster. I'll have to ask him how his experiments went.

insomnia diary november 1, 2012

got home from the halloween party around 11, very tired. could have dazed off against C's shoulder if the conversation had stopped for long. got into bed/pjs/teeth brushed before midnight. didn't go to sleep. tired. but didn't turn of the lights / close the computer / act like a reasonable person.
last time I saw a clock it was about quarter to three. didn't sleep for a while after that.
woke up around seven thirty, but thought it was much latter. didn't look at my clock for a while. expected the alarm to go off any time so didn't try very hard to fall back to sleep. finally did get up, saw the time. my mom was still in bed. stole the cat from her. ivy didn't want to cuddle.
I went back to bed. don't know if I fell back asleep. really got up around ten ten. could have stayed in bed longer, but did the responsible thing and got to campus early for a lunch thing. cookie for breakfast, pizza for lunch. oh, college.
just did the math, got a minimum of four solid hours asleep. that is unacceptable.
argh.
no dreams i remember. no notable anxieties. but i do wish i had given C a kiss goodnight. yeah, there were people around, but they're were our friends, and it should be comfortable. ugh. feelings.
don't have to wake up for any time tomorrow, need to determine if it's better to let myself catch up on sleep, or continue to enforce some kind of alarm.

insomnia diary 10/31/12

didn't sleep well, no surprise. started feeling tired around two, but still had to take a bath. that was nice, hot water, stupid book. didn't open my computer up again.

tried to sleep. both curtains closed, eye mask on. didn't happen. got up a few times, but didn't reopen the computer. think i brushed my teeth twice?

last time I remember seeing a clock it was 3:15.

weird dreams. about friends and breasts and cheese. i don't know. are my dreams supposed to tell me things? i hope not.

woke up naturally just before ten, still tired. went back to bed for another forty five minutes. don't know if I slept. turned the alarm off, didn't get up right away, but I was brushing my teeth by 11:11, clapped for good luck. forgot to make a wish. all of my wishes should be about getting enough sleep.

woke up with an upset stomach. felt too ill to catch a bus to be on time for american lit discussion. probably feel good enough to leave now, only i haven't done the reading for shakespeare and i hate that class, so probably not going. is a legit life choice. plus, i might start feeling sick again. that seems likely/possible.

haven't eaten anything today except tums and toothpaste.

happy halloween.