people are not my jam

Day Two. It's the second day of summer, and I did very little, and am not that proud of myself. I actually managed to get a fair amount of writing done, but it was adding little bits to very many storys, nothing substantial that feels like an accomplishment.

I went to the dinner party. It wasn't enjoyable. I don't like people. Dead cats are bad. Other people's grandparents are uninteresting. Trying to be polite is dull. Not making jokes about birds that are called Boobies is hard and unfair, and I was so mature, I didn't say anything, it suck. BOOBIES. I only want to see my people and no one else. Ugh.

I still haven't done any of the communicating with people things from yesterday's list. I fucking hate communicating, even with people I like. It causes me anxiety, and not doing it causes me anxiety, and nothing about this is good.

I've been listening to The Specials self titled album, and Searching for the Young Soul Rebels by Dexy's Midnight Runners, and I am enjoying them both a lot. It's interesting because they're from a similar era, and have similar vibes, but are still awfully different. The Specials remind me of being a freshman in high school, where I knew some people in this not-ska-Hold-Steady-loving band. I saw them play a handful of times that spring, and it was kind of fantastic. It was one of my formative listening to music experiences. There's this one dance move, an up-down step thing, and whenever I do it I'm reminded of being fourteen in an all ages show held in coffee shop in Hopkins, dancing, and feeling not quite cool enough to be there. Weirdly, that's all good associations. I am never not awkward, but sometimes I can enjoy my awkwardness.

I finished reading Canada's Game: Hockey and Identity. I thought this book was interesting because it takes an academic approach to hockey and Canada, which are both things I think about a lot, but my thoughts mostly involve exclamation points, CAPSLOCK, and curse words, not jargon. (Although I overuse the word problematic in my everyday life, which is the bane of all feminist students.) It wasn't a great book, but it did open up some new ways of looking at things. It's essays, so it's not surprising that it was a little bit scattershot. I wish it had been more direct/better, but oh well.

My next nonfiction book to start is John Dillinger Slept Here, which is about prohabition era Saint Paul, and I am super excited to start it!

I read a bit more of The Sirens of Titan today, but not much. Hopefully I will read some more before I go to bed, but no promises.

We went to Half-Price books after dinner, and I found two things. Bi any other name: bisexual people speak out, should be interesting. Plus, the name is a pun, and I'm a sucker for puns. The other is Mothers of Invention: Women of the Slaveholding South During the American Civil War. It is a present for Emma, but I might read it.

I watched "Journey to the Center of the Tardis," and was disappointed that it was a real action adventure story instead of an episode where the Doctor and Clara decided to not go explore a planet, but instead explored the Tardis, and tried on different clothes, and drank tea, and hung out by the swimming pool. I can't decide if I'm thrilled by the episodes since the Ponds departure. Clara herself is lovely, but I haven't been thrilled by a lot of the story lines? But it could all turn into something splendid by the end of the season; Doctor Who does that sometimes. RTD did that all the time, but I wouldn't put it past Moffat.

No significant cooking happened today. I have been eating poorly this week. I can't find the good noodle pot, which has stopped me from making pasta salad. We bought things to make sandwiches so tomorrow should be better.

Tomorrow will also be better because I am not going to stay up past three tonight, which I did last night. Also, I am going to see Clair tomorrow, which is great. I'm going to end on a positive note.

take good care of yourself

Back at school tomorrow, argh. classes don't start til tuesday but have to do the whole re-moving/settling/locating/textbook thing. not excited.
Well, yes excited, but skeptically. If given another week would probably be prepared to murder the parents, and that's not good. So, excited? It's all in the question mark.

This is me giving my self some advice for the next semester because I learned a lot since September and need to get my thoughts organized. It's good advice in general though, and I'd advise considering following it even if you aren't me.

ADVICE

• take care of your skin and your hair and your body. It's the only one you get.
• Don't spend time with people you don't like very much because it's convenient. I've met some great new people and have best friends who I love with all my heart, but there are also a lot of people who I don't need to share my time with. As an introvert I need to recognize that there is nothing unhealthy about being alone and that it's definitely preferable to being with people I don't like.
• Speak up. Be yourself. This ties directly into the item above.
• Don't go on dates with boys who could vote Republican. See above.

Also, fuck my wrist. I've been knitting a lot and using my computer at stupid angles and then babying it at different odd angles and it just sucks. I am like Queen sXe uptight about medication but really think I am going to take some pain killer before bed because it hurts like a motherfucker.

You can tell I'm in pain because I'm swearing more. Actually, I just want to cuss at my wrist like my dad does when the kitchen drawers attack. Only I'm afraid it will scare the cat, and we wouldn't want that.

I will miss her so much when I go back to school. She is my baby. She was created for me to pick up and carry around. Absolutely. Don't listen to anything she meows to the contrary. I am the person in this situation so I know what is going on.

Now my wrist is making me type weird, so that's all.

Stay beautiful!